How to run a Secret Santa

A gift exchange is easy to start and easy to let slip. This plan keeps things simple for the organizer and fair for everyone.

1. Decide who's in

Make a list of everyone taking part and collect their email addresses. Six to fifteen people is a comfortable size. Bigger groups work too, but give yourself more time to collect everyone's wishes.

If people are bringing partners or kids, decide up front whether they're joining the exchange, so nobody shows up empty-handed.

2. Set a spending limit

A clear limit is the single most important rule. It keeps things fair and stops anyone from feeling awkward. Common choices:

• $20–$25 for offices, clubs, and friend groups. See our ideas under $25.
• $40–$50 for families who are replacing individual gifts with one exchange. See our ideas under $50.

Say whether shipping and tax count toward the limit. "Close is fine" is a perfectly good rule.

3. Set three dates

• Wish deadline: about three weeks before the party.
• Assignment day: the day after the wish deadline.
• Party day: when everyone brings their gift.

Two weeks between assignments and the party leaves time for shipping, especially in December.

4. Collect wish lists

The classic Secret Santa problem is a giver guessing and getting it wrong. Ask everyone for one specific wish instead: the item, plus size, color, or model, and a link if they have one. Specific wishes mean less stress for the buyer and a gift the receiver actually uses.

5. Make the assignments

Drawing names from a hat works in person but falls apart when people are remote or someone draws their own name. A gift exchange app handles it automatically: the Gift Exchange Game collects everyone's wish, then secretly assigns each person one gift to buy, and never assigns anyone their own.

6. Remind people

Send a friendly reminder a week before the party and again two days before. Remind everyone to wrap their gift and leave off the name tag if you're playing a guessing game.

7. Make the reveal fun

Instead of handing gifts out one by one, try having everyone pick a random gift from the pile and take turns opening them. Then guess who asked for each gift. We describe this and other ideas in family gift exchange games.